Unlucky Travels

As much as I love to travel, I have to say that I am one of the unluckiest travelers ever.  I recently found an article about what to do when your flight gets cancelled.  Sadly, this has happened to me before and based on this article, I did everything wrong.  It's just so hard not to get emotional and take out your frustrations on the closest available airline employee.  Logically I know it's not their fault, but that doesn't make it any easier to control myself in the spur of the moment.  I guess I'll know better for next time.

Of course my flight getting cancelled was probably the most normal thing that's ever happened to me.  Here are some of the odd things that have happened to me abroad:

• London/Brussels/Amsterdam:
• I was there for a tennis competition when I was 17 and we were split up into three groups to fly from London to Brussels.  I somehow managed to be in the group whose plane broke down and we had to wait 5 hours at the airport.  We had to miss the opening ceremonies with the rest of our team =/
• Italy:
• My sister and I got stranded at a mall for 3 hours and had to ride around on buses until we found our way back...this was in December and it was 40 degrees out.
• Israel:
• The airline lost my carry on bag with my passport (okay...that was partially my fault for leaving my passport unattended) so I was stuck at JFK until they found it, meaning that I missed the flight with the rest of my group to Israel.
• Once I was scheduled on a red eye, I was the "randomly" selected passenger to have my bags searched more thoroughly, shoes swabbed, etc.  Of course they neglected to tell me any of this and just started doing it.  I was freaking out!
• The guy sitting next to me on the plane decided to take off his pants...
• Once in Israel, I promptly got splashed in the face with water from the Jordan river and got a horrible eye infection.
• THEN, I got heat exhaustion and was delirious and nauseous and threw up at the top of the holiest mountain in Israel.  I couldn't eat for days.
• Was manhandled by a guy who apparently didn't appreciate my saying no when his advances became too intense.  Had a lovely bruise on my arm to show for it.  This sounds more dramatic than it was...he was just a prick but nothing I couldn't handle.
• On the way back, I decided to spend a few days in New York with my new friends and managed to miss my flight home.
• Hong Kong/Thailand:
• I was at the airport which happened to be the ONLY spot in all of Western Washington that was covered in fog.  My flight was cancelled and I blew a gasket.
• Finally got on another flight and my suitcase was "randomly" chosen to be searched.
• Got so horribly sick on my last few days there that I spent over 24 hours throwing up and sleeping when I could.  We almost had to cancel my flight back because I couldn't move.
• Iceland:
• Every single one of our excursions was cancelled and then our flight was cancelled due to bad weather.  In Iceland?!  Seriously?  How?!  Had to wait at the airport for 9 hours and then sleep at the Boston airport instead of heading straight home.
• Cyprus:
• This one wasn't that bad.  I was the "randomly" selected person to be searched...again.
• Oh and I got a horrible bug bite.  I thought my leg would have to be amputated.  It was disgusting!

You would think with all of this, I would hate to travel.  But I don't.  It's frustrating at the time but who else has these kinds of stories?  It keeps me from being that same old boring traveler with nothing more exciting to talk about than the fact that everyone drives on the wrong side of the road.

On a separate note: I went hiking today.  We went to Dirty Harry's Balcony (yes, that's actually what it's called).  It was beautiful.  Go see some of my pictures from the hike here.

The amazing view from Dirty Harry's Balcony.

Updated Title Since my Friends didn't approve of the pregnant hippo: What does a svelte, sexy running hippo look like?

I haven't run in four years.  The last time I ran, I made a horrible, horrible mistake.  I ran downhill for an extended period of time.  Now, any runner knows that running downhill is really risky.  You have to be really careful how fast you run (you have to control your pace and fight the urge to pretend you are flying down the hill) and focus on your form more than anything else.  So as much fun as it was to fly, the next day my knee swelled up to the size of a large grapefruit and has never stopped bothering me since.  Not to the point where anything drastic needs to be done but just enough to use it as an excuse to be lazy.  The last time I ran, I was having a really hard time in my life, much like I am now, and I had rested my knee for a week or so after my sparrow routine and decided to test it out.  About half a mile in I realize my knee is killing me and this overwhelming grief just took over and I started crying.  Right there in the middle of the busy street in posh downtown neighborhood.  Then I realized that I must look completely insane standing there crying by myself in my running gear and felt so embarrassed that I ran an extra three miles just to make up for it.  That was my last run ever.  It was excruciating and almost made me never want to to do it again.

Until...

I'm the girl next to the tall blonde in red.  Next to her I look frumpy as hell
but I like it anyway.

Until one of my lovely friends posted a picture of us from four years ago in Vegas.  I'm standing there, in my mini skirt, no nylons, just legs and...I don't often praise my body so please let me have this one moment...I look fantastic.  At least my legs do.  So I went and bought a new pair of running shoes yesterday and started the C25K program from cool running again.  It sucks starting from scratch but I really need it.  I alternated jogging and walking for 20 minutes and I was dying at the end.  I might be exaggerating just a bit but it wasn't pretty.  I remember when 5k was a warm up.  I want to get back to that.  And if that requires looking like a pregnant hippo chasing after its next meal, then I will jiggle all way.

So today was day one and I "ran" around 2 miles.  Baby steps.

Next time on That Weird Crying Girl: I'm starting a snail army!

Destination Wishlist Update

I just finished reading Memoirs of a Geisha and I have to say that I think Japan is going on my list of places to visit.  I've never really been interested in travelling to Asia.  I've been to Thailand and loved it.  I've been to Hong Kong and hated it.  But those were trips out of convenience (my sister lived in Hong Kong and the trip to Thailand was my birthday present from her), not something I was dying to see.  It's always just a nice thought: "I'd like to see Vietnam."  Unlike my burning desire to go

to Scotland or New Zealand.  But I can now easily say that Kyoto, Japan is on my list of "Places to See Before I Die."  That said, I have no desire to go to any of the major metropolitan areas in Japan, just old world places.  Looking at photos of Kyoto, I am in awe of how beautiful it is.  Of course, I'm not delusional (usually), and I am aware that Kyoto today is definitely not the Kyoto I read about. Sometimes, progress is just not worth it.  I have no desire to see the skyscrapers or the concrete, marvels of architecture a genius came up with in an office somewhere.  I give credit where it's due and I am not hiding the fact that I am astounded by their talent but I live in a city and I feel like the majority of the population these days does as well.  So why would you trade one city for another?  Everything starts to look the same; one building as beautiful or as plain as the next.  When I travel, it is to see something I can't see anywhere else.  To see something like this:

My trip to Thailand in 2013

If you've seen the movie Memoirs of a Geisha, you will recognize this landmark.  I wouldn't know it otherwise, but it is beautiful.

Inari Shrine in Kyoto (I do not take credit for this photo as it is not
my own but can be downloaded at Pixabay)

Now, just to go off a bit about the book.  I was absolutely enthralled up until the very end.  It was a beautiful story with a very mundane ending.  It deserved more in my opinion but I'm sure there will be plenty of people to disagree with me.  A really good read, though.  I highly recommend it and then you can form your own conclusion of the ending.

Slugs vs. Snails

This isn't really a post, just some random thoughts that I had pop up today (or the last few days):

1. I'm very sorry to anyone who stumbles onto this page hoping for porn.  I only realized that Rita Wanderlust sounds like a stage name after I already bought the domain.  There is no porn here.  Sorry.

2. I spend more time in mens' restrooms than any other girl I know.  See, I help out at my yoga studio and that involves spending some time in the men's restroom.  I'm sure there are plenty of girls that spend more time in mens' restrooms but I do not know them.

Cherries.

3. I wonder how long I could live off of nothing but berries.  I LOVE BERRIES!!!

4. Is there a difference between slugs and snails other than that a snail has a shell on it's back?

5. Jenny Lawson is my new hero.  She gets me and I feel appreciative in the knowledge that she is crazier than I am.  Yet I'm also jealous of the fact that she is crazier than I am.  I'm confusing myself.

6. All these posts on facebook about the northern lights in WA are making so miserable because I am so upset that I missed it!  My stupid habit of going to sleep early backfired on me.

7. When on the phone with a patient's daughter, and are told that her mother is in hospice, "okay, that's perfect" is not an appropriate response.

8. It's mother's day and I love my mom.

My mom and I at lunch...not
the best photo of me.

Being Under 21 Is Not Fun

There are two huge things I figured out last night:

1. I am most certainly NOT 20 years old anymore, even if I don't have any ID to verify that.  Honestly, I don't know why that would be necessary given that I'm pretty sure I look at least roughly my own age. Moral of the story: shots are never a good idea.

2. I am a horrible friend who will choose to go to a birthday party instead of giving a toast at your wedding or will be a horrible wing man because I am completely oblivious to anyone's flirting.

I got to reconnect with a friend I had fallen out of touch with and the outcome was surprising.  It kind of opened my eyes to how self centered I can be.  I feel horrible because, most of the time at least, I pride myself on being very empathetic and considerate but how sanctimonious, and self involved I was in this situation was heart breaking.  I only saw one perspective...mine.  Needless to say I will be working my ass off to make it up to him and his wife because I am a huge douche!  Let's also add a little insult to injury and admit that I forgot that their first year anniversary was two months ago.  I have no idea why I even have friends!

Sage piece of advise from an old lady like me: If you plan to drive, get a drink, eat, or really do anything, you might want to remember to bring your wallet with your ID and your money.  Apparently yesterday was not my best day so I drove all the way to my friend's house before I realized that I don't have my wallet on me.  So basically I got to relive my 20th year again (broke and underage).  It was not fun.  And despite this, I still somehow managed to get absurdly drunk and had a very rude reminder this morning that I am almost 30 and shots are not a good idea no matter how much you want to relive your glory days.  My friend was kind of enough to provide me with a beverage at her house to get me started.

Why am I drinking urine?  At least it was delicious.
This happens to be an alcoholic beverage and not actually urine.
Just wanted to make sure that was clear.

Though being drunk does have its upsides.  How else would you get tidbits like this?

Friend: "I always wanted to marry a Mormon and have lots of his babies because Mormon men are more assertive."

M: "I kind of want to start using a dental dam for oral sex."  

Me: "you want to start asking the guy to put on a mouth condom?"

M: "I get so lonely living alone that I've actually considered getting one of those robotic dogs or Alexa so that I would at least have someone to talk to when I get home." (She's actually a sane human being so she's not perfectly content being socially isolated like I am.)

My BFF at her beautiful new apartment that she is getting a robotic dog for.

I'll chalk up it up to a failed experiment of reliving my youth.  And I might actually be getting a friend back so not a completely wasted night (even though I WAS wasted).

Lions, and Tigers, and Bears! Oh my!

The one picture I managed to get off my camera!

I just got my new camera in the mail today, and despite the fact that modern day point and shoot cameras are supposed to be so easy a 5 year old can use them, I am clearly not smarter than a 5 year old because I spent the last hour and a half fiddling around with it so that I could get just one picture to send to my computer.  I don't think I've ever felt out of touch with my youth more than I just did today.  But!  I did finally manage to configure some of the settings (most likely incorrectly) and now I know how to access my pictures off of the camera.  That would be my significant accomplishment of the day.

Primarily, I am looking forward to getting to use this camera when I start my volunteer work with PAWS.  I went to my volunteer orientation and went through the wildlife rehabilitation interview yesterday, and am now awaiting instructions on when I go through training.  Initially I wanted to play with the baby squirrels and otters but that also involved playing with more carnivorous critters.  And as much as I love animals, I really can't stomach the idea of feed a frozen rat or quail in its whole form.  I can barely touch my dogs' food!  So, I'm sticking with baby birds instead.  I do love ducks so it can't be that bad.  However, the real reason my camera will come in handy is that I also want to volunteer my time to take photos of the adoptable animals to be posted on their website.  I think that might be the most fun (unpaid) job ever.  I still have to go through the interview for that one.  I think if I didn't need the money, I would spend the majority of my time volunteering with animals.  The danger would be that I would probably try to steal a baby otter to take home with me.

They also wouldn't let me play with the bears and the seals.  How rude is that?!  Something about not being trained in blah, blah, blah.  I know, I know, it's for my own safety but I would probably be the girl that ended up dead because she tried to pet a puma on a hike one day.  Probably for the best that I stick with birds and domesticated animal.  In a related story, I did have a pet squirrel as a kid; he would come sit on my lap and eat peanuts from my hands.  It was fantastic...until the day that he bit me and wouldn't let go.  I was flailing the poor little guy around trying to get him off but he just clung on for dear life.  I never saw that squirrel again and was then forced to go to the doctor to see if I needed rabies shots.  And while I know plenty of people that would blame the squirrel, to this day, I still think it was my fault and that he just confused my finger for a nut.

And as for some travel news: I bought my entry ticket to the Yoga on the Rocks event in Colorado this summer.  I'm so excited to get up early and do some yoga with the view of Red Rocks.

Cultural Differences

Today is Russian Passover.  I'm still not really certain as to what the difference between Russian Passover and American Passover is.  Church, colored eggs, dinner, etc.  The whole nine yards.  Of course somehow, my mother managed to screw up hard boiled eggs.  I really didn't think that was possible but they tasted absolutely awful!  Might have something to do with the fact that she forgot they were boiling on the stove until they started exploding.  We had to throw them all out.  But at least they looked pretty until we tried to eat them.  The only difference I've noticed so far is that you smash the eggs together with another person and eat them.  The person who's egg does not shatter will be lucky.  I guess this is going to be my year because my egg was rock solid.  This brought me to ponder on Russian superstitions and other cultural differences between Russia and America.  Though I am very Americanized, I don't believe in American superstitions but am very paranoid about Russian ones.

My Russian doll collection

Here are 10 things I can think of:
1. You can't whistle indoors in Russia.  I have such a hard time convincing my friends to not whistle inside around me.  Everyone just thinks I'm nuts.
2. Unlike in America, in Russia, if it is your birthday, you pay for dinner for everyone you invite.
3. Toasts in Russia take forever because they just keep getting interrupted.  And you don't drink your drink unless someone is making a toast.
4. It's bad luck to open an umbrella in doors.
5. Every time you say something that might jinx yourself or another person, you spit three times and then knock on wood (or your head if wood is not accessible).
6. Tattoos are primarily for convicts and prostitutes.  The number of lectures I have had to sit through from my Russian relatives about how much I have ruined all my looks and femininity by having so many tattoos is mind boggling.  Oh...and I can't be buried in a Jewish cemetery because of my tattoos as I have desecrated my body.
7. They love to have dinner parties in Russia...like a lot of them and there is usually singing of folk songs after a few rounds of vodka shots.  Oh, and we love cognac too.
8. If you bring home your American boyfriend, expect Russian male family members to test him by getting him as drunk as possible to see how well he holds his liquor.
9. There is this amazing food that I miss terribly as it is only made with meat called pelmeni.  It's meat wrapped in dough and boiled.  On New Year, you put a penny in one of the pelmini and who ever gets that penny will have luck for the rest of the year.  I think this has resulted in more broken teeth than luck.
10. You can't randomly smile at people and you can't smile on the bus because people will think you're crazy.

I'm planning a trip to Russia in June 2017 with my mom and I can't wait to witness this firsthand.  I have not been back to Russia since we left in 1993 and I'm very excited to go back to my roots.